Socratic Life

Starting with the knowledge that there are parts of us including mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, social and I am starting to see a place for financial. I have been thinking about the different ways that we can personally improve inside of each of these areas. Is it writing down goals and then hoping to reach them at the end of a time frame that you set for yourself? Is it to be a positive thinker and invite the energy of the universe into your life and hope that you improve? Is it any number of things?”

I would suggest that it takes a very organized an orderly and accountable approach in order to directly improve these areas of your life. The suggestions on the 17 principles of success from Napoleon Hill touch on how to self improve.

1 ) Definiteness of Purpose

2 ) Mastermind Alliance

3 ) Applied faith

4 ) Going the extra mile

5 ) Pleasing Personality

6 ) Personal Initiative

7 ) Positive Mental Attitude

8 ) Enthusiasm

9  ) Self Discipline

10 ) Accurate thinking

11 ) Controlled Attention

12 ) Team Work

13 ) Learning from Diversity and Defeat

14 ) Creative Vision

15 ) Maintenance of sound Health

16 ) Budgeting time and money

17 ) Cosmic Habit force

However they are still almost static. Just sitting there on a page they really don’t do anything for you. Actually nothing can do anything for you. That is unless you have a sincere desire in your heart to change. This brings us to the mighty change of heart that we see in the scriptures. I have found that a mighty change of heart rarely occurs overnight or immediately, but by my definition it is having the energy to choose the right even when you don’t feel like it or even in the face of the adversary. It is an upwards cycle of you doing the best you can even when you have made a mistake. In the LDS faith We promise to have faith, repentance, baptism , holy ghost, endure to the end, search, ponder, pray, have a change of heart, return and report.

It says it well in D+C 109:8 organize yourselves! Prepare every needful thing and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of god. In return we are promised the atonement, the plan of salvation, the scriptures, word of god, revelation, the comforter, being quickened by the spirit and even a renewal of our bodies. In D+C it says that there is a law “irrevocably” decreed that when we obtain any blessing it is by obedience to a law.

Now, what does all of that have to do with self improvement and napoleon hill? Well a few things stick out at me in some of those scriptures. Such as organize yourselves, have a house of learning, a house of order, Search, Ponder, Pray and having a change of heart.

To have a house learning can mean studying the things like we are discussing. Search can mean that while you are learning it can become difficult and you have to search for the answers. Ponder means to think about and self analyze or internalize what we are learning. Having a change of heart means to want to change. It means that you want to change more than you want to………….fill in the blank.

Now I left order and organization out last for a reason. These words are very similar. Let me explain however how they differ. You can be totally organized yet doing things in the wrong order and you may not succeed. In order to Self improve, we must organize ourselves and be more orderly. In order to organize myself usually I write down tasks in a planner and then execute them in the right order. This is very similar to what needs to be done through self improvement. We write down what we want to do. That sounds easy but we must do it in a very specific way.

Going back to the model of Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Social and financial, We will write down 2 – 3 things that we want to improve on, but in a very specific way. This way is called APROPOS.

A=Aim. Where are you headed? Where do you want to be? Use Specific Behaviors and dates. How will you know if you have arrived at your destination?

P=Position audit. Where am I now? In relationship to where I want to be? A very clear analysis of my current situation.

R= Resources.What is needed in order for me to reach my aim? People? Money? Specific description.

O= Obstacles and Opportunities. As I start to close the gap of where I am to my goal what will lie in my way and what will be able to help me? How can I forsee roadblocks or tours? What are the consequences with not overcoming the consequences? What are the benefits of taking advantage of the opportunities?

P=Program What is the long term plan to close the gap? 3-5 years

O=Objectives These are the midterm tactics and are for the 1-3 year range

S=Steps What are the action steps needed from now through one year, that are clearly thepath that I shouldtaketo make my goal. This will spell outdates and is the who?, What? Where? Why? and How?

The final section of APROPOS includes a review section that you can record results, your thoughts and feelings. This surprisingly is called a Journal. When I mentioned the return and report, this is where that comes in. We review our action steps at the beginning of the day, week, and month writing down our progress.

As we look at the Mental, Emotional, Spiritual, Physical, Social and financial goals that we have, there is something that we must learn about reality. IT IS FAKE. Really, almost all day long you tell yourself stories that are based on assumptions and judgments. Rarely what we tell ourselves is real at all. You see, usually you let “reality” control your thoughts. You react to events that go on around you and you let yourself become a pawn. This is called the victim story.

Victim Thinking = Victim Behavior =Victim Reality = Victim Thinking = Victim Behavior = Victim Reality->

I mentioned a change of heart. This is where we can apply that. This victim thinking has got to stop in order to reach our goals and ultimately our potentials. This is where you can dramatically improve your lifestyle, your income, your happiness and your way of life.

Now, use your imaginations with me… You are now relieved of having to respond and act like you are expected to. You are now in the reality of “As If” This reality has been given to you by yourself. The reality of “As If” is your potential and is everything that you ever thought you could be or do. It is this reality that we are going to climb onto to make ourselves successful. It is here that we will succeed.

We are going to call this reality “CHAMPION REALITY”. I call it that because It is how champions think.

Champion Reality = Champion Thinking = Champion Behavior = Champion Reality = Champion Thinking = Champion Behavior

When you eliminate in your mind the lies that you tell yourself and replace it with Championship thinking you will quickly realize why this tool is so important.

Once you have learned the tools and have the desire you can now apply.

Let’s say that we are working on the social aspect and have decided that interpersonal communication is what we want to be working on. I say” I am a champion. I am a champion of all things. I am a champion at communication. I can communicate with anyone, anywhere, under any circumstances, because I am a champion.

Now the details are left to ourselves. What do we want to work on? How much self mastery are we willing to work for? These are the things that napoleon hill talks about. But after you read it and it touches you…. You must find away to do it.

What does it take to make a good communicator and why would we want to put so much effort into improving on something that seems so difficult?

As I was thinking about this question and really trying to answer it for my self, I wrote down all of the blocks or internal inhibitors that I use that we discovered in Interpersonal Communication Inhibitors and came to the conclusion that not only do I use a few of these blocks but use all of them at one time or another. Immediately after I posted the Interpersonal Communication Inhibitors article, someone that I am very close to actually emailed me and asked if I wrote it with them in mind. The point is that with all of the roles that we play in this life chances are that we touch on all of the internal inhibitors at some point or another. Some more than others, but all of them at one time or another.

I would challenge you to take the list of internal inhibitors and write down the ten roles that you play the most and leave some space under each that you can write down each of the inhibitors that you use under each role. It may surprise you how often you use them.

It isn’t that you should dwell on how often that you use these blocks in your communication or how detrimental they can be, but it is necessary to look at how often we use them to show what a huge improvement a little bit of work in our Interpersonal communication can bring. There are a few skills that we can be aware of that when applied to the interpersonal communication model will make a very large difference in the way that we communicate, our relationship to others and the positive influence that we have on those around us.

We can look at the example of the Circle of Influence to help us better illustrate this point. As we increase our power of positive influence, the circle of influence expands. Starting with our own self mastery and moving out to our spouses, children and families and then out to our churches, communities and the world. If we rely on anger and negative influence in our relationships within our circle they will no longer listen and push back as we try to communicate. If however, we learn the skills of positive influence and communicate with sincerity, compassion and service our relationships will get better and the people around us will open up to our positive influence. Not only will we have more people in our circle but we will have more power of positive influence with the people in it.

Effective communication involves achieving our goals in a way that maintains and develops trust in the relationship that it occurs. To increase our communication competence and increase our circle of positive influence we have to achieve a goal and generate trust.

Active Listening VS Expressing

What can we expect to learn that will increase our objective of enlarging our circle of positive influence and increase the positive power therein? What should we expect to learn about communication that will hone our skills and enable us to overcome some of the internal inhibitors that we use when we feel threatened while communicating?

We are going to want to take a look at some of the definitions that were listed in the interpersonal communication model and try to increase our understanding and competence of them.

Starting with the sender and receiver in the communication model, In order to have interpersonal communication we have to have people. During most communication sessions we are both a sender and a receiver. As we look specifically at these two roles we will want to break them apart from each other so that we can understand them individually. They will be broken down and labeled with the actions of Active Listening and Expressing.

Active Listening

There are 2 parts of active listening.

Paraphrasing

Paraphrasing means to repeat back in your own words what someone has just said.  You may not need to include everything that they have said. You can keep a mental note of the bullet points that you think the other person is trying to communicate and then repeat them back when you think you have a good grasp on what they are saying. Let’s look at 5 things that paraphrasing does.

1 ) People really appreciate being listened to

2 ) Helps diminish anger and cools us down when we are flooding

3 ) Cuts down on miscommunication

4 ) Assists listeners in remembering what was discussed

5 ) When you paraphrase you will feel less like using the internal inhibitors

Clarifying

(Golden Nugget) Clarifying is perhaps one of the best ways to master communication. Because it is our objective to achieve a goal and generate trust, we must understand what the other person’s goal is. Clarifying is asking questions to gain a better understanding of their goal. If the picture isnt totally clear, you can clarify until it becomes so. Ask questions about background, circumstances, supportive details or anything else that you feel would assist you in understanding what they are trying to explain.

Expressing

Again, because it is our objective to achieve a goal and generate trust, we should keep this in mind when exercising our expression skills. There are 4 different parts of expression: you can express your observations, thoughts, feelings and needs. When used correctly, each of these parts can give us the capability to communicate exactly what we want to in a positive and trust generating manner.

Observations

Observations are what your senses tell you. They are the facts. Simply put we eliminate speculation, inferences, and conclusions. We are stating something that we have heard, seen, experienced or otherwise observed. An example of this can be: “We are late to the meeting.”

Thoughts

Thoughts are the judgments and conclusions that you have drawn from the observations. They are your attempt to describe the why and how of an event. You are using beliefs, opinions, theory and values to explain a conclusion. We should share our thoughts with respect and clarity with our minds eye focusing on reaching the goal and building trust. An example of this can be: “It seems like the managers have a lot of meetings, they are probably very busy.”

Feelings

How you feel is part of what makes you you. Shared feelings can often allow us to see more clearly what each person is trying to convey. When a person shares feelings this builds relationships and conveys trust. By allowing others to know what makes us happy, sad, frustrated or frightened, they can empathize and understand what we are trying to convey better. An example of this can be: “When I speak in front of people I get butterflies in my stomach and get really anxious.”

Needs

No one knows what your needs are other than you. No one can read your mind or guess what your needs are. In order to have close relationships it is necessary to express our needs. Needs are non-judgmental. These are statements about things that help or please you. An example of this can be: “I am so tired, I sure could use a hot bath”

Looking at these different parts of expression allows us to define what we are doing when communicating. When we are able to think things out in our minds and see from an active standpoint what tools we are using, we can better formulate and process better messages to send.

One of my favorite stories is about a detective named Sherlock Holmes. It is interesting to see the way he solves his mysteries. “Just using the facts” he can think under the most strenuous circumstances and can reason through and solve almost any problem. It is the same with us in our interpersonal communication model, as we learn to use the facts to reach the goal and build trust we become better communicators.

In order to talk about the different ways in which to improve our communication and start increasing the amount of information that is going back and forth it is necessary to recognize the different inhibitors both external and internal. Next it is necessary to learn new techniques with which to replace these inhibitors.

Defining The Model

While thinking about the best way to do this, one may wish to define some of the parts or sections that we will try to improve upon. Lets start, by defining the parts of the communication model.

The very model itself has a definition. It is known as Interpersonal Communication. This is the sending of messages or data from one person or small group to another person or small group of people with an effect and immediate feedback.

What are the are the characteristics or parts of the interpersonal communication model?

Messages

To have any level of communication occurring there must be something being sent and received. For an example we can take a look at our brains. In order for thought to occur there must be a sender that sends a signal, a signal sent, a receptor to receive it, stimulus upon reception and an effect based on the stimulus. These messages can be packaged in a number of ways including Audio, Visual, Tactile, Olfactory, Gustatory or any combination of them. In understanding this we can see that interpersonal communication does not need to be spoken or between two people standing in front of each other. It can be done on the phone, through instant messaging, video conferencing or Morse code. It is also important that we point out the fact that these messages do not need to occur because the sender or receiver wanted them to. The way that someone stands or blinks or smells can all be messages that are being sent.

Persons

In order to have interpersonal communication, we must have at least 2 people. A sender and a receiver. It does not however need to be limited to this number. Interpersonal communication can occur between small groups of people as well. As all communication does we need to start with oneself. Communication with oneself is can be called intrapersonal communication. We need to separate these two in order to fully understand them. We will also need to separate mass communication and public speaking from our topic as well. Mass communications and public speaking are usually unidirectional only, meaning that the message goes from the speaker to the audience but not from audience to the speaker.

Reception

This may be the most obvious point but it is worth understanding. In order for Interpersonal communication to happen there must be a message received.

Effect

The effect of the message can range from total agreement to an inaudible grunt. In order for it to be interpersonal communication the receiver of the message must somehow be different because of it. This is the effect. It doesn’t necessarily need to be seen or observed by the sender.

Feedback

It is here that I would like to spend the most energy. Feedback is the message that the receiver sends back to the sender after receiving a message. In order for this to be interpersonal communication it is necessary to have relatively immediate feedback of some kind. From nodding of the head in agreement to a lengthy banter of disapproval, we can see where feedback comes into the interpersonal communication model.

Encoding and Decoding

In Interpersonal communication the message must first be taken from thought and then formulated into an audio signal or one of the other ways to send a message. This is called Encoding. By taking this message through input stimulus and translating them into thought we are decoding them. A lot like a message sent from one end of a battle field to the other. It must be first encoded, written down, sent, received, decoded and then understood.

Competence VS Performance

Competence otherwise known as linguistic competence, has to do with our capabilities in the linguistic sense. This is relevent to our understanding of sentences, and punctuation. We have learned rules that when followed allow us to put sounds together that make sentences. Our competence lies in our ability to take this set of grammatical rules and match the sound with the meaning.

Performance is more abstract. It has to do with other factors such as how tired we are or if we are stressed out or not. If we are feeling flighty and have a short attention span, this has to do with our performance. There are many things that can influence a poor performance.

It may be that a person is totally competent in communication and knows all of the rules. In order to communicate fully and properly though, we must work on the performance.

Let me start by showing you an image I found while looking through one of my college communications books.

What does this say to you?….?

Communication is not just something that we can expect to happen to us. Its not something that we do to other people. It is something that all parties involved participate in. It is an action, an active tool that, when used effectively can merit extremely productive results.

Why is communication important?

During life, anything that you see, perceive or experience is communicated to you some way or another. Everything that we do requires some type of communication. There is always communication going on.

As you can see in this picture there are 2 receivers who are also senders. They are coding and decoding a message at the same time and they each have an environment that they are working in to encode and decode a message. Although these environments many times overlap, we must be aware that each person has an individual environment.

If we look closely at this image we can shift our view to be aware of the “noise” that presents itself as the communications is happening. One’s first thought when looking at the word noise is that this is of the external nature. A radio, Fan, Lawnmower or TV. I think about things that are distracting like loud noises, bright light, or other people. We may do better by replacing the word noise with a word like “Inhibitor”. This shifts our focus from an outside stimulus and redefines the subject to mean, an agent that inhibits or blocks an activity.

It would follow a path of reason that we can label these inhibitors in 2 different states.

1) External

2) Internal

The first of these, External, can be anything outside of our minds. This can be left mainly to our physical surroundings and understanding this, is a great first step to increasing our abilities in the communication model.

Finding ways to limit or discontinue the external inhibitors creates an atmosphere that welcomes clear communication.

It is the second of these however that I would like to focus on in greater detail.

These internal inhibitors can also be viewed as blocks. Blocks that when put together create a wall in the communication model.

The 12 Communication Blocks

1 ) Comparing

Comparing brings difficulty into the communication model because when one uses this block they are always looking at who is bigger, better, smarter, more funny or more philosophical. Here, when someone is trying to speak to you your are comparing their stories to your own and saying, ” My experience is so much better than theirs” or “My family is so much better at communicating”. In the end you didnt get anything out of what they said because you are constantly measuring your self up to what is being said.

2 ) Mind Reading

Mind readers rarely are even listening to the words that are being said because they are paying attention to the non-verbal cues and body language or perceived intonations and suggestions from the other people in the communication model. They may not really believe what is being said because they fell that maybe the other person is being untruthful or not telling the complete truth. They think ” She probably really wants to stay home and relax and is just saying she wants to go to the movies because I want to go.” or “Everyone can tell that I am strange and they dont like me but they just don want to say anything” These thoughts arent even based on the reality of what the other person is saying but a vague intuition and foggy interpretation based on hunches or paranoia.

3 ) Rehearsing

This is when you arent actually listening to the other persons thoughts because you are to busy rehearsing what you want to say next. You may have only heard the first three words before you start to formulate what it is that you want to say as soon as the other person takes a breath. It is hard for this person to get anything from what is being said because they rarely pay any attention to the thoughts or interests of the one talking.

4 ) Filtering

When a person filters they “listen only to what they want to hear”. This is when a person decides if they are in any type of danger or what mood the person is in and then they lose focus. They may listen just long enough to see if the person speaking is in a good mood or not and then their minds start to wander. A person might listen to her husband long enough to see that he is not angry at her and let her mind wander but not listen to his frustrations about his day at work. Filtering also is a way of avoidance and blocking out anything that is stressful, negative or unpleasant to here. You may not even remember that something was said. You simply don’t remember.

5 ) Judging

Judgments are labels and they have an enormous effect. If you have already decided what a person is like or not like you may block out everything else that they have to say. You may see someone that you think is “stupid, immature or lazy” and then not listen to anything else it is that they are saying. You might even get through the first sentence or two before you decide that ” they are on a tangent again” and then stop listening. This can also work with any other judgments or labels that you place on someone that is communicating.

6 ) Dreaming

Dreaming is lead by personal associations and ends in a shotgun array of random thoughts. A person will tell start by saying that they went to the bank… and you start thinking about the bank, you just got paid, paychecks come every two weeks, there is a concert in two weeks, you like music…… and then tuning back in later they ask what you think should be done about their 12 year old dalmatian. You can see how this might be damaging to the communication model.

7 ) Identifying

Identifiers take everything that is said and reference it to something that has happened to you. The speaker may be trying to share with you a problem that they are having with a difficult coworker and that reminds you of someone that you work with and you start to tell them about the time when you had to go to hr because a coworker was continually yelling. Everything that someone says reminds you about a time, place, thought, experience or something that you have done. You are so engaged with referencing your own experience that you have no time to listen.

8 ) Advising

Advising comes into play when you are great at solving other peoples problems, and ready to tell people about it. You are so ready to instill your wisdom and knowledge on someone that you dont even let them finish what they are trying to say. They can be into the conversation only a few sentences before you start to suggest a way to solve the problem and you may not have gotten to the most important thing of all, the speakers feelings. Acknowledgment and compassion are generally what people need when they are expressing pain or unease about a situation. They now feel like you didn’t listen and alone because you weren’t able to let them express themselves.

9 ) Sparring

Debating and argument are more important than understanding or being understood. Sparring leaves you focused on finding things to disagree with. The other person rarely feels heard or understood if at all. You are so adamant about your beliefs and preferences that you often are willing to damage a relationship in order to be win an argument. One of the most predominant types of sparring is the put-down. This is manifest in sarcasm, discounting, or passing off.

10 ) Being Right

You will go all out to win. You will do just about anything including, lying, twisting things around, making an excuse or verbal abusing in order to be right. You will stick to your guns no matter what is being said or who you are talking to. This often leaves the other person feeling unheard and discouraged.

11 ) Derailing

Derailing occurs when you get bored or no longer want to talk about the subject at hand. You may be uncomfortable and dramatically change the subject in order to derail the conversation. Another way of derailing is to make continual jokes in order to avoid the discomfort of really listening to what is being said.

12 ) Placating

Placating is simply agreeing with what is being said in order to be nice and pleasant. You may not even be listening, but you don’t want to rock the boat so you will agree with everything. You are usually tuned out and apart from the conversation.

The Belief System

I would like to touch for a moment on belief systems and bring your attention to how our belief systems effect each of these inhibitors. Belief systems can be seen as the way that we think or how we digest our interpretation of our experiences and then act on what we believe is happening. This belief system is a result of past, experiences, behavior patterns and thought pathways.

Everything that has happened to us, Everything that we have experienced, seen, believed, Everytime we talk to someone, react to a problem or protect ourselves from a perceived danger, we are creating little pieces that are added to our belief systems and internal inhibitors or blocks.

It is our job to analyze ourselves in our communication and change our belief systems or our created reality and change our minds or the belief system and create a new perception or way of thinking. We are then able to recreate the blocks from an inhibitor to a strength in communication. Very often the very things that plague our progress, when worked out and changed, become our most promising talents and strengths.

Relationships and Roles

As we learn to monitor the inhibitors that we use in our communication it is important to understand the different roles that we have in our lives. Depending on the role that we are playing our communication styles and the inhibitors can change from minute to minute.

Do we use the same communication inhibitors with our children as we do with the our boss? Where you might use placating with one person you may use sparring with someone else.

You may be a Father, Friend, Husband, Teacher, President, Police Officer, Employee and Coworker in the same afternoon. One of the ways that you can find out what inhibitors that you may be using is to start making a list of all of the major roles that you play in your life and write down the different inhibitors that you use as you find yourself in the different roles.

You may find that you use one or two a majority of the time, but most likely you will notice that you use most of them some of the time.

Circle of Influence

When you notice which of the inhibitors that you are using in each of your roles, it will become more apparent how using different communication skills will benefit you. Not only will relationships start to improve but as communication gets better you will find that people start to listen and communicate better with you as well.

Looking at our circle of influence, starting with ourselves, the circle then moves out to our spouses, children and families and then to our friends, churches acquaintances and communities. Our circle of influence gets bigger and bigger as we appropriately influence the people around us through service and good communication. If we don’t know how to properly communicate or positively influence those around us our circle of influence gets smaller and smaller until we cant influence anyone.

The concept is that when we learn proper influence and good communication in our roles, we learn better skills and the right way to influence people.Our circle of influence then gets bigger. People welcome our conversation and let us influence them more. Our circle continues to get bigger and bigger until we can influence everyone through our sincere desire to serve and communicate with compassion and skill.

It starts with yourself and moves continually outward until you have the mastery and skill to communicate with anyone, anywhere and in any situation.

You own how you communicate and only you can make the difference.

You have most likely seen the secret and know all of the rules of positive thinking, affirmations and self-mantras. You may have also read some books by Tony Robbins or Stephen covey. I truly do believe that the way to self improvement is consistently using these techniques to reprogram the structure of your thinking that has become a natural reaction through years of use.

It can be difficult to retrain yourself to be positive even in the face of your environment’s negativity and chaos. Using positive affirmations, visuals and other techniques you can transform your life and develop into whoever you want to be.

Thinking about positive affirmations has lead me to believe that there must also be positive De-affirmation and the realization that you may be doing something that needs to be changed.

Change requires work.

If you are doing something that you want to change and change requires work, you will have to work.

In saying this I bring up one of the most important positive De-affirmations that we can work on.

Procrastination.

If we could overcome this one area, our lives could be transformed at a pace that far outruns our normal strategies and current thinking patterns.

How can we Positively De-affirm?

One of the best ways that we can do this is to Recognize that we have a certain behavior or our thought habits run through a certain pattern. We can then Decide that we want to change this pattern or belief system. After our decision to change we should not continue to beat ourselves up or deliberate on the behavior that we want to change. This is where positive affirmation comes in. We start the process of Replacing our current beliefs and thought patterns.

You must believe that you are no longer a procrastinator.

Say to yourself, I do things efficiently and speedily. I am a very efficient person. I love to work hard. I am an organizer. I do things as soon as the opportunity presents itself. When a task that I have the proper responsibility for shows up, I do it as soon as I can every time! I enjoy finding tasks that make my life cleaner and more positive. You must feel as if you are the hardest worker that there ever was. Think as if you were the most efficient person that has ever existed. You are this person.

You see, usually you let “reality” control your thoughts. You react to events that go on around you and you let yourself become a pawn. This type of thinking has to stop. Remember the “Work” that I talked about? This is it! This is where you can dramatically improve your lifestyle, your income, your happiness and your way of life.

You are now relieved of having to respond and act like you are expected to. You are now in the reality of “As If” This reality has been given to you by yourself. The reality of “As If” is your potential and is everything that you ever thought you could be or do.

You are a doer. You dont even know what “putting something off till later” Means.

You will be surprised at how “reality” starts to fall in line with “As If” .

Here is how this works

Think = Behavior = Reality = Think = Behavior = Reality ——->

Usually, as you can see we let this so called reality rule our thinking. We then bahave or react the way we have so many times before and the way we will continue to unless the cycle is broken.

Now we can break the cycle.

We virtually change our realities. We change our beliefs.

“As If” Reality = New Thinking = New Behavior = “As If” Reality = New Thinking = New Behavior

Think-Act-Be

It is your Socratic Life.

How you think describes who you are.

Peter Clemens from PickTheBrain Wrote this Great article!

Discipline is freedom. You may disagree with this statement, and if you do you are certainly not alone. For many people discipline is a dirty word that is equated with the absence of freedom. In fact the opposite is true. As Stephen R. Covey once wrote, “the undisciplined are slaves to moods, appetites and passions”. And in the longer term, the undisciplined lack the freedom that comes with possessing particular skills and abilities - e.g. to play a musical instrument or speak a foreign language.

Self-discipline involves acting according to what you think instead of how you feel in the moment. Often it involves sacrificing the pleasure and thrill of the moment for what matters most in life. Therefore it is self-discipline that drives you to:

• Work on an idea or project after the initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away
• Go to the gym when all you want to do is lie on the couch and watch TV
• Wake early to work on yourself
• Say “no” when tempted to break your diet
• Only check your email a few of times per day at particular times

In the past self-discipline has been a weakness of mine, and as a result today I find myself lacking the ability to do a number of things which I would like - e.g. to play the guitar. But I have improved, and I can say that it is self-discipline that got me out of bed this morning at 5am to run and then write this article. Believe me, I would love to be curled up in bed right now, but this desire is subordinated by my inner sense of purpose.

If you struggle with self-discipline, the good news is that it can be developed. For example, it is only in the past two years that I have trained myself to wake early. The following are what I have found to be the five traits of self-discipline:

1. Self-Knowledge

Discipline means behaving according to what you have decided is best, regardless of how you feel in the moment. Therefore the first trait of discipline is self-knowledge. You need to decide what behavior best reflects your goals and values. This process requires introspection and self-analysis, and is most effective when tied to written expression. I highly recommend taking the time to write out your goals, dreams and ambitions. Even better, write out a personal mission statement. I found that writing such a statement gave me a greater understanding of who I am, what I am about and what I value. Dr. Covey has an excellent Mission Statement Builder on his site.

2. Conscious Awareness

Self-discipline depends upon conscious awareness as to both what you are doing and what you are not doing. Think about it. If you aren’t aware your behavior is undisciplined, how will you know to act otherwise?

As you begin to build self-discipline, you may catch yourself being in the act of being undisciplined - e.g. biting your nails, avoiding the gym, eating a piece of cake or checking your email constantly. Developing self-discipline takes time, and the key here is you are aware of your undisciplined behavior. With time this awareness will come earlier, meaning rather than catching yourself in the act of being undisciplined you will have awareness before you act in this way. This gives you the opportunity to make a decision that is in better alignment with your goals and values.

3. Commitment to Self-Discipline

It is not enough to simply write out your goals and values. You must make an internal commitment to them. Otherwise when your alarm clock goes off at 5am you will see no harm in hitting the snooze button for “just another 5 minutes….” Or, when initial rush of enthusiasm has faded away from a project you will struggle to see it through to completion.

If you struggle with commitment, start by making a conscious decision to follow through on what you say you’re going to do - both when you said you would do it and how you said you would do it. Then, I highly recommend putting in place a system to track these commitments. As the saying goes, “What gets measured gets improved”.

4. Courage

Did you notice the sweat dripping from the man in the picture at the start of this article? Make no mistake, self-discipline is often extremely difficult. Moods, appetites and passions can be powerful forces to go against. Therefore self-discipline is highly dependent on courage. Don’t pretend something is easy for you to do when it is in fact very difficult and/ or painful. Instead, find the courage to face this pain and difficulty. As you begin to accumulate small private victories, your self-confidence will grow and the courage that underpins self-discipline will come more naturally.

5. Internal Coaching

Self-talk is often harmful, but it can also be extremely beneficial if you have control of it. When you find yourself being tested, I suggest you talk to yourself, encourage yourself and reassure yourself. After all, it is self-talk that has the ability to remind you of your goals, call up courage, reinforce your commitment and keep you conscious of the task at hand. When I find my discipline being tested, I always recall the following quote: “The price of discipline is always less than the pain of regret”. Burn this quote into your memory, and recall in whenever you find yourself being tested. It may change your life.

Excerpts from “the new brain” by Richard Restak, M.D.

“But I think the process of personal dis-integration is furthered by our constant exposure to the media, principally television.” pg. 41

“Civilization is revving itself into a pathologically short attention span” pg. 45

Everywhere I go I can see the effects of media. It seems like everyone has a hand held device that gives some sort of entertainment.

The kid riding a bike? Headphones.

The guy driving a car? Instant messaging on cell phone.

The girl at the dinner table with her parents? Headphones.

I thoughtfully look at the word that Dr. Restak used when describing the media. Personal dis-integration.

Integration is the process of combining incoming information and is one of the functions of the nervous system.

When you are reading a book about let’s say the illiad, and you are using your imagination to actively think about and process what is being read about, you are using your mind. You are using the pathways that have been built when you were a child as you were first learning. These pathways are the very center of our imagination and capability of thought.

You are combining incoming information. This is Integration.

So what is happening when one relies completely on an outside stimulus for “Entertainment?”

You may have your own take on it………..unless of course you are watching t.v, but it seems to me that you are overriding the processes that naturally happen as you day dream, or read a book, or color, or put together a puzzle, or think. When there is no effort on your part to make electricity shoot down those pathways, (thought) then you are completely overriding the system that you use to think.

When this system is overridden and overridden and this outside stimuli is used as a faux Integration it leads to an atrophy of the brain. This stimulus is telling your mind that it has what it needs and you need not come up with anything on your own. Your mind is left completely dormant.

It dis-integrates.

No wonder this society has a short attention span. They are completely reliant on media to think for them.

You can figure the moral out for yourself.

Heres a Hint……… All things in moderation.

This Article has been brought to you by www.mysuperchargedlife.com and the letter a.

In order to stay sharp, it is important that you exercise your brain. The less we use our minds, the duller they become. There is a lot of emphasis these days on staying physically healthy, but we should also be concerned for our mental well-being. Our brains continue to expand and adapt to the stimuli they receive throughout our lives. The more we take care of our brains, the better thinkers we become. Here are twenty ways that you can develop a training regimen for your brain!

1. Read a good book.

Reading a book stimulates the imagination. Your brain can’t keep from drawing mental pictures when you read. Reading gets your mind off its butt and to work. I love to let a book carry me away. I always have a book that I’m reading and sometimes I have 3 or 4! I get most of my books from the library to avoid the cost of buying each one. This also allows me to try a wide variety of books without risk.

2. Big Brain Academy.

Video games have a bad reputation for causing brain rot, but there are some that will actually help you strengthen your mind. I like Big Brain Academy for the Wii. It is a collection of brain teasers that tests your mental acuity. The tests are entertaining and addicting. You can even compete with others which makes for some great family fun.

3. Practice meditation.

Don’t worry, I’m not going off the new age deep-end here. There are a lot of different forms of meditation. To me, in its most simple form, meditation is about spending a little time alone to relax and center your thoughts. It is amazingly therapeutic. If you haven’t tried meditation before, I would highly recommend reading this guide to meditation.

4. Get plenty of rest.

A lack of sleep can interfere with your ability to assimilate new information. This means those all-nighters you pulled back in college were much less effective than you thought. Your brain needs rest to operate at its peak performance. This may be why things always seem clearer and brighter after a good night’s sleep.

5. Exercise regularly.

You didn’t think you were going to get away without a little time on the treadmill did you? Cardiovascular exercise improves blood flow to the brain which improves brain functioning. One study found that physical exercise actually helped to increase the volume of the brain. So, if you want a bigger, better brain, then get to exercising!

6. Eat a good breakfast.

It is not a myth. Eating a good breakfast does get you off to a better start. You should eat a breakfast high in protein and good carbohydrates. A couple of pieces of whole-grain toast with peanut butter will fit the bill. Eggs are also an excellent source of protein. Nuts, milk, and fresh fruit are also great ways to feed your brain.

7. Think positive thoughts.

Encourage yourself. I am convinced that positive thinking increases the effectiveness of the brain and helps to avoid things like depression. I like to say that your brain works much like a computer, garbage-in, garbage-out. Find positive, encouraging people to hang around, read material that jazzes you up, do whatever it is that makes you feel good about yourself. These things will also help you be more mentally productive.

8. Be a continual learner.

Never stop being curious about your world. Seek out new experiences, skills, and knowledge. Think of something that you’ve always wanted to learn to do and then get started. A now famous study, showed that certain areas of the brains of London cab drivers were more developed compared to the average citizen. This was due to their need to learn how to navigate the maze of downtown streets. We can use this technique of challenging our brains to improve our abilities.

9. Lay off the alcohol.

Alcohol is of course a depressant. It slows down mental functions. The effects of alcohol on a person’s cognitive ability is well-documented. If you need peak mental performance, then stop drinking alcohol. In addition to its obvious effects, it also decreases the restfulness of one’s sleep which, as we have already discussed, impedes your ability to think clearly.

10. Get romantic (especially if you’re a woman).

Studies have shown that there may be a link between regular sex and improved brain performance in women. Love-making increases a woman’s estrogen levels and higher estrogen levels are tied to better mental performance. Of course, the mental benefits probably do not outweigh the risks, unless you are in a faithful, monogamous relationship.

11. Break your routines.

Drive a new way to work. Try writing with your less dominant hand. Mix things up a little. This perks up your brain because it requires you to think more. You aren’t just running on auto-pilot. Challenge your brain by getting out of your routines and it will respond. This is a great way to get your mental juices flowing.

12. Stop watching so much television.

Researchers have found that too much television between the ages of 1 and 3 leads to attention problems later in childhood. Let’s face it, TV is mind-numbing. Get up off the couch and away from the television. Sure, there is some good educational stuff for children and adults, but the average American watches way too much TV. If you want peak mental performance, then turn off the boob tube.

13. Work with numbers.

Do math problems in your head instead of on a calculator. For many of us, it is use it or lose it. We have become mentally lazy. We rely on our gadgets instead of thinking for ourselves. Working with and memorizing numbers is a great way to get your brain back in shape. This could pay off big dividends down the road!

14. Stop relying on your GPS to tell you where to go.

Remember the cab drivers in #8 above? Using your brain to figure out how to get from Point A to Point B is good mental exercise. You have to use your brain’s ability to determine spatial relationships to effectively read a map and navigate a city. Traveling in an unfamiliar area is even better!

15. Recall old memories.

Get out those old picture albums and start thumbing through them. This taps into your brains memory banks. Pictures will help you recall things that you thought you forgot. Dig deep to see just what all you remember. If you have other ways to stimulate your memory, like old letters or home movies, then by all means use those too.

16. Make beautiful music.

Learning to play a musical instrument is a great way to super-charge your brain. It requires a number of different parts of your brain to work together to make the melodies that you desire. Of course, if you are already a musician, then learn a new piece. Push yourself to learn new techniques. Music is a great workout for the mind.

17. Speak a new tongue.

Many people agree that learning to a speak a new language is a powerful way to give the mind a stretch. If you’ve ever tried to learn even a few new words, then you know this can be difficult. Of course, the harder something is for the brain, the better! You have so much more mental capacity than you might imagine. Give it a try!

18. Memorize a song.

Many of us have lots of old songs stored in our heads, but why not expand your memory by learning a few new tunes? It may take awhile at first, but if you keep at it, you will find it gets easier. This is your brain getting back in shape.

19. Walk around the house blindfolded.

It might seem like a strange activity, but your brain can handle it. Once you try it a few times, you will probably find it fun and challenging. Again, this one draws on your memory, motor skills, and reasoning abilities. What a workout!

20. Expand your vocabulary.

Decide to learn one new word a day. There are several websites out there that can help you with this endeavor. You’ll not only be expanding your mind, but you’ll also be able to impress your friends and co-workers when you work one of your new words into a conversation.

Get started today and be smarter tomorrow!

There you have it! I have just given you 20 very practical ways to sharpen your mind. These suggestions will have your brain back in tip-top shape in no time. Why are you waiting? It is time to start exercising your mental muscles!

How do you keep your brain in perfect working order?

10W-40?

I Really like this article.

Have you ever tried to challenge yourself by thinking differently?

…Relative question.

Have you ever tried to challenge your thought activity?

Really look at it and say. Hmmmmmmmm…………

What else is there?

Rather than getting deep into the emotional energy of the situation, I reminded myself of the acceptance principal, and decided that it would be better to use my energy to mold a better and more positive future….

Through positive meditation I have found myself more able to decide what is going to happen next. Remember.. It isn’t what happens to you, it is what you are doing in response to the outside stimulus.

If you think about it, acceptance is a major part of happiness. As you accept “things” as they are you may find yourself relieved of the tension of judgments, frustrations, irritations and anxieties. From a very basic concept we can see why this may be a little difficult to get use to. The rate of speed at which our lives are hard boosted forward with the technologies, processes, tools and compromises, can in itself tell the story of LOUDER, FASTER, BRIGHTER, HARDER, MORE!!!

Take some time to realign your mind with your spirit. Open a window and breathe some fresh air, accept “things” for what they really are.